Yo I was out cruisin the other night looking for some action. All the coolest guys in town streetrace. Any time anywhere.
So I was at this light and some sucka in a civic pulls up beside me. He was riced out to the nines. He actually had nitrous, a real engine swap, and forced induction. Not to mention real lightweight rims, not "dubs", sticky tires and everything else.
He was definitely no match for me, what with my stickers, paper mache' hood, roof and side scoops. I also got a spoiler too. Its a little bit scary when I go under bridges though because I've hear it scrape a few times.
He thought he was bad ass, because he reved at me.
I guess he didn't see the big Type-R stickers I had on the other side of my car, nor the stickers for **** that I ain't got on my car, like NOS, eibach, greddy, yokohama, uniroyal. Oh wait, I got uniroyal tires on my car, so I'll have to take that sticker off so people think I've got some mad sticky tires. I like to go for the sleeper look yo.
Anyways the dude didn't see that **** because they were on the opposite side of my car, but I had them like half on my hood and half on the fender....... you know how I mean.
When he revved at me I was thinking to myself, dayam this is just like the F&F, so I immediately got out of my car, took my front hubcaps off, to lower the unsprung weight, but then in the back I popped the trunk got out my spray paint and painted my rear hubcaps high performance yellow. Then I thought to myself, ****, I need all the power I can get so I painted the tires themselves and then I kicked my muffler a few times till it fell off.
Got back into my car, put my seat belt on and cranked up the gangsta rap. Oh, I mean N-Sync. My girlfriend really likes them, but she's only 12 so what does she know?
I threw the car into first, and floored the gas, bouncing off the rev limiter for a good 30-40 seconds waiting for the light.
Light turns green and I pop the clutch the tires start to smoke, meanwhile he must have had an LSD because he only chirped the tires a little bit and off he went. He's obviously stupid because he didn't do a burnout and heat his tires up first. Incase this race gets taken to the corners I'll definitely have him with my mad hot and sticky tires.
Eventually I started moving but by this time he was several carlengths ahead of me I powershifted at the end of first second and third. Suddenly he put his brakes on. The traffic light ahead had turned red. I flew past him and through the intersection as other cars were starting to go through but with my mad skillz, I just swerved around a couple of them. My car got a little tail happy, but the wing saved me. I almost smoked a priest who was helping a little old lady cross the road. I gave them the finger, don't they know that I was trying to race someone??
This all happened in the space of a second or two, but as I regained control I flashed my hazard lights and screamed out "I WIN" and was still on my way at full throttle. I was doing like 190 MPH or so when a cop saw me.
He threw on the lights and started chasing me.
There was traffic up ahead so I did the smartest thing I could do............................................. Slow down?? Are you nuts??
Are you a loser?? I kept on it stupid, then I swerved in and out trying to lose the cop but he was still with me.
I took a few turns, I forget how fast I was going, my double reverse neon LED indiglo gauges only go up to 210MPH but they only work half the time and the other half they don't read right because I got a set of 20 inch steel rims from a pickup truck to make my **** alot tyter so I really don't know how fast I was going, I figure I was doing at least 240 by this time but who knows, the cops were still chasing me and there was so much traffic and pedestrians for me to try and avoid hitting that I couldn't pay attention.
A few more turns, running a couple more redlights and stop sign s, I see a walmart. I rip into the parking lot and almost hit some little kid in a stroller. I see an empty handicapped spot so I pull in there and jam on the brakes.
I shut the car off, and duck down a little bit.
The cop drives by and continues on his way. I won.
Hell, I'm at walmart now, I can pick up those spinner hubcaps I want.
What a great day.
So I was at this light and some sucka in a civic pulls up beside me. He was riced out to the nines. He actually had nitrous, a real engine swap, and forced induction. Not to mention real lightweight rims, not "dubs", sticky tires and everything else.
He was definitely no match for me, what with my stickers, paper mache' hood, roof and side scoops. I also got a spoiler too. Its a little bit scary when I go under bridges though because I've hear it scrape a few times.
He thought he was bad ass, because he reved at me.
I guess he didn't see the big Type-R stickers I had on the other side of my car, nor the stickers for **** that I ain't got on my car, like NOS, eibach, greddy, yokohama, uniroyal. Oh wait, I got uniroyal tires on my car, so I'll have to take that sticker off so people think I've got some mad sticky tires. I like to go for the sleeper look yo.
Anyways the dude didn't see that **** because they were on the opposite side of my car, but I had them like half on my hood and half on the fender....... you know how I mean.
When he revved at me I was thinking to myself, dayam this is just like the F&F, so I immediately got out of my car, took my front hubcaps off, to lower the unsprung weight, but then in the back I popped the trunk got out my spray paint and painted my rear hubcaps high performance yellow. Then I thought to myself, ****, I need all the power I can get so I painted the tires themselves and then I kicked my muffler a few times till it fell off.
Got back into my car, put my seat belt on and cranked up the gangsta rap. Oh, I mean N-Sync. My girlfriend really likes them, but she's only 12 so what does she know?
I threw the car into first, and floored the gas, bouncing off the rev limiter for a good 30-40 seconds waiting for the light.
Light turns green and I pop the clutch the tires start to smoke, meanwhile he must have had an LSD because he only chirped the tires a little bit and off he went. He's obviously stupid because he didn't do a burnout and heat his tires up first. Incase this race gets taken to the corners I'll definitely have him with my mad hot and sticky tires.
Eventually I started moving but by this time he was several carlengths ahead of me I powershifted at the end of first second and third. Suddenly he put his brakes on. The traffic light ahead had turned red. I flew past him and through the intersection as other cars were starting to go through but with my mad skillz, I just swerved around a couple of them. My car got a little tail happy, but the wing saved me. I almost smoked a priest who was helping a little old lady cross the road. I gave them the finger, don't they know that I was trying to race someone??
This all happened in the space of a second or two, but as I regained control I flashed my hazard lights and screamed out "I WIN" and was still on my way at full throttle. I was doing like 190 MPH or so when a cop saw me.
He threw on the lights and started chasing me.
There was traffic up ahead so I did the smartest thing I could do............................................. Slow down?? Are you nuts??
Are you a loser?? I kept on it stupid, then I swerved in and out trying to lose the cop but he was still with me.
I took a few turns, I forget how fast I was going, my double reverse neon LED indiglo gauges only go up to 210MPH but they only work half the time and the other half they don't read right because I got a set of 20 inch steel rims from a pickup truck to make my **** alot tyter so I really don't know how fast I was going, I figure I was doing at least 240 by this time but who knows, the cops were still chasing me and there was so much traffic and pedestrians for me to try and avoid hitting that I couldn't pay attention.
A few more turns, running a couple more redlights and stop sign s, I see a walmart. I rip into the parking lot and almost hit some little kid in a stroller. I see an empty handicapped spot so I pull in there and jam on the brakes.
I shut the car off, and duck down a little bit.
The cop drives by and continues on his way. I won.
Hell, I'm at walmart now, I can pick up those spinner hubcaps I want.
What a great day.
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