Here is a person who posted on Craigs list, an open letter to all Honda owners. I feel that this fits all import and domestic cars that have been modified for "racing".
Don't get me wrong, I like the fact that some of you have done a beautiful job on your rides. But I have a pro 5, and a Nissan Xterra that I off road with, and thought this was a good thing to post, and funny as hell.
Dear Honda owners,
I don't want to race you.
That's right, I'm un-interested in trying to challenge you and your faux supercar in a drag race between stoplights downtown. I don't know why you all feel the need to glare at me while the light is red. You don't have to change your grip on the steering wheel like its a pair of motorcycle handlebars, either. You especially don't need to rev your four-cylinder with its loud exhaust system because you might tempt me to want to race you.
I don't.
What really gets me, though, is with the abundance of similarly craptastic hondas out there, why do you want to race me? The way I figure it, you want to race everything in sight. My Jeep has less than 200 horsepower and the aerodynamics of a barn. However, I suppose the near-verticle air dam which is my windshield isn't neccesarily discouraging to someone who puts a god-damn wing on the back of a front wheel drive car. More downforce for the rear wheels then, eh? That way you can accelerate faster, right? Great work, dip****.
But seriously. I don't get it. I don't ask you to go drive trails with me. I don't wave and say 'lets go haul ass through a mud pit'. Sure, I spend about as much time off pavement as you do on the track, but at least I can tell the difference between a race car and a 4x4. Does my Jeep look like a challenge or something? Do you and your honda friends get together and say 'Dood! I just beat that Jeep with the big tires and low gears! I'm so fast!'
The way I figure it, your car sucks so much, you can't beat any of the other Hondas, and sure as hell don't want to admit defeat. Instead of buying a genuinely fast car, you choose to get your rocks off racing easy vehicles in your piece of ****. Way to go, badass! I'm proud of you! Why don't we get together and beat up some kids later. I'll let you sucker punch a baby. It will be hard core.
Seriously, though. Please, please, the next time you see me, or any other non-challenging vehicle at a light, don't antagonize them and encourage them to 'race.' Instead, pull your head out of your ass, and realize that your hatchback is probably faster than a minivan, delivery truck, recreational vehicle, bicycle, u-haul, and other similar underpowered non/aerodynamic vehicles. Oh, and don't forget, you're probably faster than me, too.
Go play some more Gran Turismo, and quit being a jackass.
Thank you.
Don't get me wrong, I like the fact that some of you have done a beautiful job on your rides. But I have a pro 5, and a Nissan Xterra that I off road with, and thought this was a good thing to post, and funny as hell.
Dear Honda owners,
I don't want to race you.
That's right, I'm un-interested in trying to challenge you and your faux supercar in a drag race between stoplights downtown. I don't know why you all feel the need to glare at me while the light is red. You don't have to change your grip on the steering wheel like its a pair of motorcycle handlebars, either. You especially don't need to rev your four-cylinder with its loud exhaust system because you might tempt me to want to race you.
I don't.
What really gets me, though, is with the abundance of similarly craptastic hondas out there, why do you want to race me? The way I figure it, you want to race everything in sight. My Jeep has less than 200 horsepower and the aerodynamics of a barn. However, I suppose the near-verticle air dam which is my windshield isn't neccesarily discouraging to someone who puts a god-damn wing on the back of a front wheel drive car. More downforce for the rear wheels then, eh? That way you can accelerate faster, right? Great work, dip****.
But seriously. I don't get it. I don't ask you to go drive trails with me. I don't wave and say 'lets go haul ass through a mud pit'. Sure, I spend about as much time off pavement as you do on the track, but at least I can tell the difference between a race car and a 4x4. Does my Jeep look like a challenge or something? Do you and your honda friends get together and say 'Dood! I just beat that Jeep with the big tires and low gears! I'm so fast!'
The way I figure it, your car sucks so much, you can't beat any of the other Hondas, and sure as hell don't want to admit defeat. Instead of buying a genuinely fast car, you choose to get your rocks off racing easy vehicles in your piece of ****. Way to go, badass! I'm proud of you! Why don't we get together and beat up some kids later. I'll let you sucker punch a baby. It will be hard core.
Seriously, though. Please, please, the next time you see me, or any other non-challenging vehicle at a light, don't antagonize them and encourage them to 'race.' Instead, pull your head out of your ass, and realize that your hatchback is probably faster than a minivan, delivery truck, recreational vehicle, bicycle, u-haul, and other similar underpowered non/aerodynamic vehicles. Oh, and don't forget, you're probably faster than me, too.
Go play some more Gran Turismo, and quit being a jackass.
Thank you.
Comment